Thursday, June 7, 2012


And no, I'm not talking about the school kind. Those are relatively easy in comparison to the life ones.

For some reason, our dear Heavenly Father seems to think there are lessons in life that I desperately need to learn. Which is fine, but apparently it's like finals week for me and I keep getting hit with one after another.

So I've been down lately. So down that I requested my kids' visit be cut short, which I don't think the X minded anyways.

He, as well as a few close others have been trying to lift my spirits up, out of concern for my current state of mental anguish. And it's all coming from the same theme, that Satan is out to destroy me by breaking me down.

Now you may not be religious but I am. And perhaps this is true. I am reaching my breaking point.

I knew when the X and I had gotten married in the LDS temple that we would be targeted. We all know from any religious background that the devil despises all things good. And what better than a happy family to take down. Well he successfully succeeded in bringing one of us down. So now what's left is me.

I should be flattered at how much he's targeting me. That it's apparent how strong I truly am, that he keeps persisting.

I am a fighter, I am not a quitter. Not when it comes to what I cherish most. He got the best of us once. And though my family dynamics have changed, all the more reason for me to fight to protect what I have left.

But that doesn't mean I can't throw myself a pity party. My life is hard. It can be worse, yes I am aware of that. I just wish my efforts to pick up the pieces would go noticed. That sooner rather than later, I can be happy again. Yes it is a frame of mind, but with everything seeming like it's crashing down, it's hard to find the simple joys in life.

But my babies are home again. My joys have returned. Tomorrow will be a new day.


  1. I am so sorry you are going through all these things, it makes me so sad to see such a kind and sweet person hurting so much. We all have tests in life and I agree 100% that Satan is out to destroy marriages and families. Anything that is good he seeks to destroy, but now all you can do is pick yourself up and keep going. Know that no matter what, someday you WILL be happy again. One day you'll wake up and the ache in your heart will be a little less strong, and you will smile to yourself because you'll know you are on your way! :) Keep your chin up hun and keep smiling, somehow it will all be ok.

    1. I can't remember if I responded to this, but I'm so grateful for your sweet words!!! I'm hanging in there :) Hope all is well with you!