Wednesday, June 13, 2012


Nothing stresses me out more than finances, as I'm sure everyone else can attest to. And frankly, right now, my financial situation sucks.

It's hard to jump back into the workforce after being out of work for the past four years. It's not like I've just been sitting on my butt doing nothing. But unfortunately, society doesn't view being a stay-at-home mom as a "real" job.

I'm grateful for the help I have been given this far. My family has taken us in, X is giving us money but he seems wavering.

It's frustrating not being able to stand on my own.

It's definitely evident the lessons here I'm supposed to learn. Faith -- that everything will be ok, that I will be provided for. Patience -- that in due time, all will turn out alright. Humility and gratitude -- I have a lot to be thankful for. My situation could be much worse.

But for me it feels pretty crappy. I don't like to rely on others. I feel like (and have been made to feel like) a burden. I hate that feeling. I want to move forward quickly but it's one thing after another for me.

How can I move forward when that light at the end of the tunnel seems further and further away?

I guess that's where I need to practice those lessons I'm obviously being given. Sigh.....

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